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The past can be brought to the present when you have a current need or desire and are experiencing a feeling similar to what you have felt in the past, says Faith Deeter, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of "6 Ways to Overcome Your Painful Past" on the PsychCentral website. For instance, you may have felt unloved in a past relationship and are again experiencing that same feeling. You may bring up the time your ex failed to invite you out with his friends, which made you feel unloved. While this situation has nothing to do with your current situation, you are acting on the feeling of having been unloved. Though you are bringing up something from your past, you are trying to tell your partner what you currently need, says Deeter. This current need is to feel loved. Unfortunately, needs aren't always communicated in a productive manner. For example, a need to feel loved may come across as an accusation that your partner doesn't spend enough time with you. If you are having a difficult time letting go of the past, think about and then identify your current need, suggests Deeter.